In-Between

I am in such an in-between stage in my life, it’s so strange. Now that my second semester of college is ending, I’m kind of..finished, mentally. I will continue to do all my work and such, but I suppose I’m just sort of..finished.

The way time is passing along, it will be next semester in no time. We’re already picking classes out, I already have a new roommate and room for next year (such an upgrade from my current room, so that’s nice). I just have this weird, anticipatory feeling in my chest that I can’t seem to shake. It’s the feeling of want. I want so many things, and it’s bothering me, because I don’t want to want them.

I want to move on to new classes.

I want to start looking for summer jobs.

I want to expand my friendships.

I want to move into my new room with Aaliyah.

I want to lose the 20 pounds I gained over the past six months (so badly).

I want to have graduated college already and move on.

I want to write something that will get me noticed.

I want to move up in the world.

I want to constantly buy thrifted clothes even though that’s not financially feasible.

I want Alex by my side (so, so badly).

Alex is something I struggle with wanting more than anything else. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the only person who is wishing really badly for another person to be by their side in the middle of the night, but I know I’m not. One visit to tumblr will reveal a whole ocean of people whose other halves or broken ends are floating around out there in other beds.

He’s my biggest in-between of all: we’re so far but so close, and my life seems to be marked off by the days we’re together, and measured by the thin tape that spreads slowly over months that we’re apart. I’ve lost the words on how to make him real when he’s not here.

Big Apple/Big Goals

The lack of posts between Yuma and here are due to the fact that I had barely 48 hours to get back to my campus and get all my things together before I had to leave for New York for the CMA spring college media convention, which has been quite a time.

There’s been a lot of turmoil within our visiting staff (cramming sightseeing and Times Square plus two full conference days into such a short amount of time takes its toll), but personally I’m taking a lot away from the experience. Everyone is tired and frustrated while trying to sightsee; I myself am feeling okay (and not interested in seeing the sights; this is far from my first time here so I’ve seen Manhattan over and out a couple times now), but maybe it’s because I already had my crazy existential crisis earlier this morning, which include a mix of both “I’m starving and tired and wtf,” and the terrifying “dear god I’m never going to make a career out of this there’s too much competition why am I not a math genius or something.” But I digress.

I got to see Scott Pelley (CBS News), learn about what I might want to do after college, take a tour of the Huffington Post offices and headquarters, which I think was the most inspiring and fun thing I did, because it made me realize that HuffPost is the kind of company I want to work for in a few years: great writers and editors, but laid back and a great center of creativity. A lot more my speed than the fast-paced, stressful, 24/7 news jobs I had thought I wanted, until I learned what goes into them.

Which brings me to what I really want to say: I am going to start a new blog, probably this weekend while I have some free time to get things going. I need a blog that will attract attention, readership, and get me noticed as a HerCampus blogger or even a HuffPost blog contributor someday. I know it won’t happen right away (or anytime soon, really) but I’m eager to start working my way up to that level. 

Here’s the thing: I need to narrow down my blogging to a niche. I love this blog; this blog is great writing practice and helps me hone my style, which I think I’ve gotten down pretty well but could always develop. Having a distinct narrative is really important, so mine is always developing. But since this is my personal, whatever-I-feel-like-at-the-time blog, it’s not as specifically centered as I’d want my other blog to be. This blog is for fun, not for gaining any following. Not to say I don’t LOVE the people who follow me and reading their work, because I’m extremely flattered you guys find me interesting. Again, I digress.

My question to ANYONE reading this: what should I blog about? I’ve heard to make a list of hobbies/things you love or are good at, and here’s the shortlist:

Things I’m good at:
-Writing
-Dressing cute on a budget
-Eating (a little too good at that one)

Things I love:
-News
-Fashion/Style (mine’s kind of unique)
-Food (obviously)
-Social networking
Giving advice (to some extent)
-Books and reading

I know it seems vague now, so if anyone can help me get specific I would love that. Please help, really. Comment or email me! It would be much appreciated.

The Curious Garden

I had to write about this place because it seemed to be a restaurant specifically tailored for me. When I saw their spot in the Havasu Dining Guide brochure I picked up while waiting around in the hotel office for … Continue reading